In the company of his peers at a santa bar, mall-santa Al recalls christmases past when he managed to avoid getting gifts for Peggy, Kelly, and Bud by turning them against each other (flashback to 1974). Unfortunately this year the family shows a united front, which has caused Al's present predicament. They sing him the following song: With twelve days till christmas, your family got for you: 12 days fruit picking, 11 offramp selling, 10 toilets cleaning, 9 digging graves, 8 snaking sewers, 7 spearing rats, 6 training guard dogs, 5 giving blood! 4 crash-test dummying, 3 jobs roach killing, 2 jobs dog catching, and one job santaing at the mall...